Men Who Harass Me: One Woman's Partial Collection

This is the 38th in the series. Submitted by Sally N.

Murray Hill Maniac

Living in New York CIty, I've dealt with so much street harassment that I've come to feel it's not even worth the effort to say or do anything in response... I just continue walking and hope that a terrible tragedy befalls the catcaller/hisser/groper/leerer/perv as soon as he's out of my line of vision. Still, I've never really felt unsafe because I stick to populous, well-lit areas. That all changed about a week ago when I was walking near the corner of 34th St. and 2nd Ave. around 2 pm on a Saturday. As I turned the corner from 2nd Ave. onto 34th Street, the creepiest-looking toothless man started yelling and cussing at me as he walked towards me, aggressively calling me a bitch and making a scene. No one who was walking by did a thing or even looked our way. Anyway, I just sneered at him, and then he really got in my face, yelling "BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!" over and over again. I flipped him off and kept walking because this guy seemed pretty unstable and I didn't want to get into a physical confrontation with him. As he passed me (he was walking in the opposite direction), I heard him continue to yell increasingly obscene slurs. I turned around and saw him making repulsive gestures with his hands that obviously simulated rape. Then he yelled, "I'M GONNA STICK MY DICK IN YOUR ASS AND PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH," along with other absolutely repulsive things. A few seconds later, after he was a bit farther down the block, the shock of this harassment had worn off and I was just plain furious. I backtracked and, because he was walking slowly, turned around to see him him turn the corner onto 2nd Ave (the corner I originally came from). I walked really slowly and kept my eye on him until he took a seat on a planter near the corner. As I walked toward him, I kept my eyes on my cell phone, pretending I was texting. Then I stopped, and when he noticed me there (I was about 30 feet away), he started yelling "BITCH!" over and over again at him. I glared at him, and the only thing I could think to say to him that wouldn't gratify him was just to say calmly and very condescendingly, "You are so, so sad." Then I walked away, hearing him yell maniacally at me as I walked away. It was gratifying to have the last word, and to keep my cool and show him that no matter what he yelled, I would neither stoop to his level nor give him any indication that his behavior was acceptable. I think the worst part of this incident, however, was that I felt completely humiliated, as if my old gray sweatpants and faded windbreaker had somehow invited this harassment. It was degrading just to repeat to my boyfriend the things this guy had said to me. Unfortunately, I didn't hear about HollaBack until after the incident (I saw the New York Times article that mentioned it) so I didn't take a pic... but I wish I had. I would've taken an entire photo album (joking... kind of) especially to warn other women in the Murray Hill area who might come across this jerk. Looking back on it, I'm not sure if I would approach anyone like that again simply because I don't want to risk putting my life in danger. Even now, as I write about what happened, my pulse is racing, both out of anger and from a feeling of being threatened by this loser. I also didn't know until a few days ago that calling 911 to report disorderly conduct could've resulted in a ticket for the perv. I've resolved to call 911 in the future when I'm harassed, because let's face it: seeing one of the multitude of pervs in NYC being accosted by the police would be infinitely more rewarding than saying anything to men like the one I faced that Saturday. Submitted by Allison

The METRO talks about the newest version of Hollaback!

Amy Zimmer, a member of our HOLLAfame, wrote an article yesterday in the Metro about our new IPhone app! Here's the story: "NEW YORK. HollabackNYC, the Web site that encourages people to upload pictures of their harassers, is developing an iPhone app. They hope to use GPS mapping, to tag people’s pictures and reports, to an online map. E-mail alerts will be sent out in real-time. The data would be compiled in an annual report sent to police, public officials and the media." RightRides has generously offered to incubate this initiative, but we need help. Hollaback has been running with zero budget for four years, but we need funds to make this a reality. Help us out by donating!

"Sexual Harassment Is ‘No. 1 Quality of Life Offense’ on Subways"

Yesterday there was a public hearing on harassment and assault in the subways. There, the police called sexual harassment "No. 1 Quality of Life Offense." Hey NYPD, people talking loudly on their cell phones is a quality of life offense. Harassment and assault is violence. Still, we are glad the NYPD has taken notice and grateful for all the press on the issue: "Subway Perv Reports Going Up" Metro International. (Check out the sidebar on the next generation of Hollaback!) "Sexual Harassment Is ‘No. 1 Quality of Life Offense’ on Subways, Police Say" New York Times. (Check out the mention of New Yorkers for Safe Transit, co-founded by HollabackNYC!) "Subway Harassment Complaints On The Rise" NY1. "Complaints of sexual abuse on subway worst in Manhattan" New York Post "Gal's wild 'goosed' chase" New York Post (Note: Oraia is helping us launch the Hollaback Iphone app!) "Police: Subway Sexual Harassment the Top Quality of Life Concern" AMNY. (Check out the quote from Tara Rose, who submitted her story to HollabackNYC a couple weeks ago!) "Sexual Harassment On Subways An 'Underreported Crime'" Gothamist.

On the bridle path in Forest Park, Queens

This little man apparently wanted to have a measuring contest with my horse. He lost. Submitted by Kit

Men Who Harass Me: One Woman's Partial Collection

This is the 37th in the series. Submitted by Sally N.

"show us your titties, cigarette girl"

i was parking in the parking structure at work at university of Michigan hospital. as i turned around the corner i saw 3 men walking up the ramp towards the door of the hospital. as i drove by one of them yelled something about showing him my titties. i stopped my car and yelled "are you talking to me?" and he says "show us your titties, cigarette girl." i told them to go fuck themselves and then i went inside and told security. they sent an officer out to talk to them and also kicked them out as they didn't have any reason to be there. the officer asked if i wanted to press charges but i said no. i didn't want to deal with the "justice" system. although after reading this site i wish i would have since so many women don't really have this opportunity. Submitted by Chelsea

Breaking News! Councilmember Lappin Stands Up for Lady Straphangers!

We just got word that Councilmember Jessica Lappin, introduced a bill that would require the NYPD to collect data on complaints of sexual harassment on the subway system (inappropriate touching, public masturbation, etc.) This makes Councilmember Lappin one of our HOLLAheroines! UPDATE! Check out the rest of the story in Our Town East Side, with Hollaback quotes at the end.

This Frog Won't Turn into a Prince

This guy was making kissing sounds at me on Prince st between Broadway and Crosby street on 11.16.09 around noon. Being able to send you a photo makes me feel a little better, so thank you. Submitted by Mary

Halloween's Scariest Story

This was taken at the Union Square 14th St station. My friend and I were waiting for the 4 train and were dressed up for Halloween. She was fighting with her boyfriend and also quite inebriated so she sat on the platform (ew, but what can you do?). I crouched next to her to comfort her. That's when I noticed some a**hole on the opposite platform zooming in on my friend's crotch and his flash go off. He actually walked to the edge of the platform and bent to get her crotch. I tried to alert her, but she was too drunk to move. I pulled my camera out, and he immediately hid behind a metal pillar. I snapped the shot as fast as I could and shouted some choice words at him. He hid behind that damn pillar until the next train came. I wish the photo was less blurry. I was shaking with anger. It had already been a bad night and though I've been harassed before, no one's ever aimed a camera at me. It felt so violating that someone I don't know has a picture of my friend's crotch, and possibly me, is showing his stupid friends, and maybe posting it on the internet somewhere. He was a young guy, mid-twenties, with short black hair. He wasn't wearing a costume, but a maroon track jacket and jeans. It was so frustrating to just stand on the other side of the platform while that perv looked at his camera. At least there's Holla Back. Submitted by Tara

HollabackNYC in the NYTimes!

From the New York Times article: "Holla Back NYC lets women post pictures of men who harass them on the street. Holla Back struck such a nerve when it was introduced in 2005 (and led to more than one arrest) that now there are 20 Holla Back sites." Holla!

Men Who Harass Me: One Woman's Partial Collection

This is the 36th in the series. Submitted by Sally N.

HollabackNYC cited as a case study in a new report!

HollabackNYC and our friends and collaborators at RightRides and New Yorkers for Safe Transit are cited in this new report: How to Ease Women´s Fear of Transportation Environments: Case Studies and Best Practices Hollaback is on pages 38-40. Holla!

Three Strikes You're Scared

My boyfriend lives downtown, and to reach him I have to walk two blocks to get to the N, R, or W train at 6th ave. This requires me to walk down west 28th street, and it is a eventful walk every time I do. Every time I walk down 28th, one or more men feel like they have to say something to me. Its the flower district, and when the venders put all their plants out on the street, I am forced to walk through a jungle and been in close spaces with several men who are always giving me the up-down, I feel them start to enclose on me and get too close for comfort. It seems like every time I make that walk to the subway, someone will tell me I am "beautiful" or that they "want to talk to me". Recently, I had more than the normal amount of comments.. I was returning from my boyfriend's place, and as I walked out of the subway stairs, immediately after a man standing right outside the exit said "hey miss I wanna talk to you", and even followed me for a bit! I held my breath and walked faster, but as I passed a parking garage another man started to comment on my appearance! So I walked faster... and then as I reached 29th street ANOTHER man started to make kissing faces at me! All of this happened within three minutes, and I felt like my security was being stripped away with each harassment. Now I find myself trying to avoid taking the N R or W even though it is the closest and most convenient subway. Sometimes I'll make my trip 20 minutes longer if it means I don't have to walk on 28th. If I am leaving my boyfriend's place after dark, I'll shell out the extra money for a taxi, have him escort me, or even call my friends and tell them to meet me on the platform. Literally, every time I am on that street a man has to make some obscene comment to me. The walk from my place to that subway is only 10 minutes, but it is always the longest walk of my life. Submitted by Susanna

Thanks for making us #1!

Your votes got us back to the number one position, but the Knight News Foundation competition rages on until December 15th. If you haven't voted yet, don't wait!

Glass Bottles, Bikes, and Borough Park

I've never felt unsafe before. That may be surprising, as I live in New York City, but I've never really feared for my physical safety. I'm a big lady and I've always felt comfortable walking or biking or taking the train at any hour of the day or night. Last night, two men on a dark street stripped me of that sense of security. I was riding my bike home from my friend's house around 1:30AM. I had dressed up for Shabbat services in a cute, short dress and was feeling a little chilly. I was riding mechanically slowly, really only looking forward to getting home so I could curl up in my warm bed and watch some dumb recorded tv shows. I ride through some pretty desolate areas on this route. Keep in mind, I've ridden this route several times a week since I started biking. I've ridden it at four in the morning before. It is the only way I use to get home when I've gone anywhere east of Prospect Park. I approached the overpass of the D train on 39th street right near my apartment and passed two men. All of the sudden I heard someone running behind me and I turned around to see one of them chasing me on my bike. He was running full out only a few feet behind me. I screamed out "What the fuck are you doing?" and started pedaling as fast as I could. They screamed "bitch" at me and threw a glass bottle which shattered near my tires. I was three blocks from my home. I rode at full speed the last three blocks. When I got to my house, my hands were shaking so badly I could hardly lock up my bike. I was terrified that the men would have followed me home. I ran up my stairs and locked the door, finding an empty apartment. I sat on my bed shivering with fear, unable to really process what had just happened. When I looked back at that man chasing me, I truly thought that he would overtake me and pull me off my bike. There aren't a lot of street lights in that area and even less people out on the street. If they had wanted to take my bag, they could have. If they had wanted to sexually assault me and slit my throat, they could have. These are the thoughts that kept me awake as I huddled in my bed, to scared even to cry. I don't know what they've left me. I ride my bike every single day. I ride it to work, to friend's houses, to the grocery store, to rehearsal, to meetings, to parties, and anywhere I want to go. I haven't bought a monthly metrocard since June. My bike is an essential part of how I interact with the city. It's my life. Yet now, when I think about riding in some of the areas where I travel on a regular basis -- I am terrified. What if this happens again? What if next time I'm not fast enough? What if they do get me off my bike? I'm so scared, but I'm not allowed to be -- I need my bike. How can I reclaim the sense of physical security that they've taken from me? Submitted by Emma

Men Who Harass Me: One Woman's Partial Collection

This is the 35th in the series. Submitted by Sally N.

Hollaback Video-Style!

We are pleased to present one girl's Hollaback re-enactment: Submitted by Dana

Brooklyn Spitter

This keeps happening to my friends in Crown Heights (brooklyn) where I live: there is a man that walks around (maybe about 5'11", burly very chubby) with a big dirty black quilted coat on who shuffles up to women, and SPITS on them! He has tried to spit on me twice. It's TERRIFYING and has happened while it was still dark out before I went to work. I saw him again (on Nostrand Avenue) Friday night, but was with my boyfriend. He beelined toward me, but saw my boyfriend and shuffled off. I have heard two other people say this man has spit directly on them! I was hoping maybe someone out there would know more about who this crazy brooklyn spitter is? Submitted by A. T. S.