The Infamous Compound Holla
|I was living in Astoria, and I use the word 'living' --- Hold the phone. You won't believe this. As I was writing this Hollaback, a guy came into my office and sexually harrassed me. He asked me if I like to be flogged, and since it was hot in the office I should get naked. He asked me to cuss because cussing women turn him on. What a fucking creep. Problem is, since he doesn't work here, or work anywhere, there was nothing I could do. He's a member of the synagogue. I just tried to steer the conversation towards more neutral ground and towards business. And now I feel stupid because I didn't stand up for myself more. So, Hollaback, Shelly! I hope you get a papercut on your dick when your jacking off tonight to Hustler. |
Back to my original Hollaback...
He's standing right across the street gawking at me through the front door. Anger grabs a hold of me. I step out the front door, and I point right at him. "YOU!" I say. He looks confused and looks around. I yell at the top of my lungs, "YES, YOU. STOP FUCKING FOLLOWING ME." The guy looks scared and walks away. Just then a Police car drives up. I tell them what happened and they agree to take me home. They just have to take care of a jumper on the roof. HIL-arious. So, they drive me home, and my Landlady gets a nice view of me coming home at midnight in the back of a police car, as they shine their search light full blast at the front door and say in a mega volume loudspeaker, "Can you find your keys?!?" Hollaback to you, asshole mutter-follower. And a special hollaback to that piece of shit guard.
Written by Julie